CBT Experiment

So I got in an argument with my boss today. I finally stood up to his retarded micro-managing and gave him a piece of my... Well, okay, so it wasn't that dramatic. Maybe it just was for me.

I could feel the adrenaline starting to pump through my body. I could feel the hairs standing up. I felt like a crouching tiger ready to pounce. I think my boss picked up on it. I hate that this happened today.

So I'm trying a little CBT on myself to see if it works, because I'm really still upset about it even though he's probably forgotten all about it. Here we go...

Why is this experience so upsetting for you?

Because of the way it ended. I just said, "Okay, do whatever you want," and left, later saying "Just trying to help," prompting him to 'apologize' with a "Thank you."

But what is so wrong about what you said and what you did?

I didn't want him to have to thank me or anything. I wanted to stay mad and just let everyone else see what a jerk he was. And I'm mad that he made me so irritated that I ended up close to losing my cool in front of other people. It was embarrassing. Though, I think everyone else probably sympathized with me. Most of my colleagues agree with me about our boss being a micro-manager.

I think this 'altercation,' as you put it, was not so much a heated conflict as it was an honest exchange and argument of opinion. You've probably learned to 'make mountains out of molehills,' or 'awfulize' tense situations this way, because of the way disagreements were handled in your house growing up. Your parents' discussions were loud and occasionally physically disruptive. You have to remember that quality of yours; that you may be inflating things.

Let's get back to the CBT. Is it wrong for you to show your irritated feelings in front of your boss and your colleagues?

Well, people at my job know me as a dedicated, forward-thinking, positive person, and so I don't think a little expression of my negative feelings would color me badly in their eyes. They might even think more of me since it shows more character! It's just that it was uncomfortable.

Is it okay for things to be uncomfortable? Is it okay if you have to argue a little with your colleagues at work?

I guess it's okay. Lots of people have uncomfortable moments at work. Some people have colleagues gossiping about them, sabotaging their stuff, stealing stuff, or whatever, and bosses that are total pricks. My boss isn't a prick. He's just annoying.

Is it okay for you to show that you're annoyed with your boss?

Yes. Because I have done a lot of work for him and he has no reason to believe that I am malicious, hot-tempered, or ill-meaning in any way. He knows that I am a good person. So if I show that I'm annoyed with him, maybe he'll even take it to heart and realize that his micro-managing habits are exhausting. I doubt anyone's had the balls to make him see how irritating he can be. Heck, maybe we'll even see a change in him!

So, is it okay that you got irritated, that you stood up to your boss, and that you made a minor uncomfortable scene in front of him and your colleagues?

Yes. It's fine. I'm a good person, and if I show emotion like that, it means that it's really a legitimate response. I didn't do anything wrong. In fact, this 'altercation' may just be a step toward having a more adult relationship with him and my older colleagues. It may even be practice for when I'm a teacher. I will certainly have to deal with some uncomfortable occasions then!

Cool. So I don't need to worry about it anymore. My conclusion was that there's nothing wrong, and in fact I may have done something really RIGHT!

Nifty, huh?